Kuapeuh in kua tung ah leng thubuai nei hile uchin, kithuakzou chiat in, kingaidam tuah unla, Toupa’n a hon ngaihdam tak bang in kingaidam tuah chiat un. Huan huai tengteng tung ah itna silhthuah un; huai in thil bangkim kituaktakin a gakkhawm hi (Kol.3:13, 14).
Huan kihehpih chiat a lainatna nei in om unla, Pathian in Khrist a nou a hon ngaihdam bang in, noumau leng kingaidam tuahchiat un (Ephesate 4:32).
I. Nupa kal buaina leh a sukkhak:
I tenna Khovel a natna hipii ziak a hindan nuam phalou a i omlai un, hiai sang ale nuam lou zaw phial dia kagintak ahihleh nupa kal buai leh kihou theilou a khosak khom nilouh ahi. Nupa kal buaina in i gintaksang in a sukkhak sau zaw tham hi. Nupa kisia in innkuan sia bawl a, innkuan kisia in society sia bawl hi. Khotang hoih i deih a, innkuan hoih i deih a, Saptuam hoih i deih leh Nupa kal a chidam ngai ahi. Nupa tampite tate a dia ettontak, role model ahihlai un a tam zaw tham tate a dia etton ding omlou, muh ding omlou, innsung khiimzing mahmah, tate innsung a bit kisalou, thawmhau, lau, ning kitel leh kipahna ding mulou tampi om uhi. Innkuan khenkhat, inntekpa hong tun ding huphulh, dipkawtak a om, innsung galphual bangmai a om ka muh chiang in naa kasa mahmah hi. Nupa kikhen hial dilah hisalou, a nupa kal ulah chidam mahmah lou, a nopna ding omlou, pai hamham tampi om uhi. Saptuam leh khotang ah hihna poimoh taktak len himahleh innsung vaihawm zou hetlou, nupa kal chidamlou hehpihhuai ichi diam ah vuallel tampi ki-om hi. Dotna dot tuakloupi khat le hikha thei k’on dong ding a, na lungsim ah dawnna ana pia in. Huai tuh, a bul a panthak thei ding bang hilechin tua na zi/pasal mah na nei lai diam?
Dr John Gottman, Marriage & family counsellor in nupa kinakna ziak a tangpi 5 ana gen ka pompih mahmah ahihleh- 1. Hun awl hauh luat ziak 2. Sum leh pai ziak 3. Innsung awlmoh louh ziak 4. Nupa kisuklungkim louh ziak 5. Nupa polam a innkuante ziak. Hiai teng lou le tampi om ding ahi. Khenkhat adia a hiai te sangmah a abuaina uh thuk zaw dia ka gintak tuh gindan (religion, denomination) kibatlouh ziak ahi. Hiai a tung a point 5 kipete saulawlou in ensuk ni.
Khatna ah, Hun awl hau te sang in hun awl neilou te’n kipahna tam nei zaw uhi. Hun awl hauh luat bangle thilhoih lou tampi ngaihtuah khiakna hun leh sepkhiatna hun hithei ahi. Hun awl haute mithadah hitangpi uh ahi. 1 Timothi 5:13, “Huailou leng thadah in inn teng ah a banpawt nak uhi. Thadah kia leng hilou in, thu genlouh ding gen in, kamtam leh mite thilhih lai a vaihawmsak nak uhi”. Tulai in ahihleh khenkhat in covid ziak in paulam lemchang sa in innkiim innkiang le hahsawm lou in tutna bansau tung ah lumkawm in phone thai thai khawng nasep in nei uhi. Hiai ziak in nupa kal ah ki-iplahna leh kihawmthohna om a, kinakna piangsak hi.
Nihna ah, sumlepai zatna kitheihpih tuah lou, kia hilou sum muhna bangle kitheihpih lou nupa om ahi. 1 Timothi 6:10, “Dangka sum deihtak zaw gilou chiteng bul ahi; khenkhatte’n a eng ua, ginna a paimangsan ua, amau leh amau lungkhamna tampi in a ki sunlet tektok uhi.” Sum deihtak luatna lam a va lutthuk kha, nupa kal a dia chidam huai lou tan va tung kha chih bangle om hi. Sumlepai thu a kikhenna tan bang tungle om tham hi. Nupi khat in ka hauhsakma uh ka ngai achih in gen tampi nei hi. Papi khenkhat a khasum a zi leh a inkuante sang a kuahiam khat khut ah tam lut zaw chih bangle om hi. Sum neih louh ziak banga le kihehsan leh kinana bangle om zel hi.
Thumna ah, innsung awlmoh lou, nekna mun leh giahna mun di kia a zang, a chang a giahlou hun khawng om thei zomah lai hiai in nupa kal a bawlhoih in a chidam ding chihna thu omlou hi. Kholak leh khotang khawng a fel a fel petmah innsung a lah huchi lou. Singpi hotel khawng a apilpen mah banga chiltui kaizen a houlim thei. Innsung a lah gen di theilou. Nupa, innsung awlmoh zoulou kisaktuahna in kinakna, ki-iplahna leh kihawmthohna a piangsak nak hi. Nupa a dam lai gegu napi a zi bei pasal bei bang a khosa. Saptuam kemtu ding bangle ama innkuan awlmoh leh kemzou poimoh ahih dan i Laisiangthou ah i mu thei hi. Min amah inn sung vaihawm nangawn kizentak a a hihsiam kei leh bangchi’n ahia Pathian saptuam a kep theih ding? (1 Tim.3:5).
Lina ah, Nupa kisuklungkim louh ziak a kinakna, kikhenna tun thei hi. Nupa kal a kitheihsiamna omlouh chiang in, zi/pasal te sang a midang lunggulh zawkna hong piang a, mahni huan a pak sang a midangte huan a pak hoih sak zawkna leh lunggulh zawkna hong piang thei hi. Laisiangthou in hichi’n ana chi, Nangmah tuibem a kipan tuite dawn in, nangmah tuileh a kipan tuiluang laite. Na tuinakneite sukthanghuai gawp a om ding hia, kongzingte ah na luite? Nangmah ading kia hi uhenla, nang kiang a mikhualte ding hilou in. Na tuikhuk vualzawl in om hen; huan na tuailai zi ah kipak in (Pau.5:15-18). Kitheihsiamna omlou, mahni butbut a gamtang, mahni nopsakna ding kia ngaihtuah a om chiang in nupa kal buaina tun hi. Mahni pumpi mah bang in a zi/pasal a it ding ahi. Amah zi/pasal itpa amah ki-it ahi. Kuamah in amah sa mah a haw ngeikei a, a vak in a deihthoh zaw hi. Sawltak Paul in Korinth saptuamte kiang ah nupa sung a poimoh mahmah ana gen tuh, Pasal in a zi kiang ah a tan ding hun pia hen; huchi mah bang in zi in leng a pasal kiang ah a tan ding hun pe sam hen. Zi in amah sapum tung ah thu a neikei a, a pasal in thu a nei zaw hi; huchi mah bang in pasal in leng amah sapum tung ah thu a neikei a, a zi in thu a nei zaw hi (I Kor.7:3-4).
Ngana ah, Nupa polam a innkuante ziak bang ale kingai mahmah napi a kikhenkha chih bangle om theih mawk ahi. Tate nupa kalah nulepa tampite kigolhlut thuk lua chih bang om thei hi. Thu va neih khum ut lozezen in subuai kha. Nu khenkhat mou te toh kituaklou a ziak hiding a kagintaak khat ahihleh a tapa ittak tuisik apan ana keptouh, a kal uh kichimattak a om pen mou hon neih chiang ua, huchi thei nawnlou huai in laksak a om kisakna leh thawmhauna nei kisa in theihsiam haksa sa chih om thei hi. Huai banah, mahni a lamte kia awlmohna leh huai tuntunna in nupa kal chidamsak lou hi ka mu hi.
Nupa kal a kinakna hiam hehna hiam na neih chiang in a baih theih lam in suk veng sawm pahpah in. Sukveng pah a omlouh chiang in Diabol gamtatna ding mun awn kisuak a, kinakna pen houchik himahleh lianpi suak a saupi ana kang man in phelhmit haksa deuhdeuh hi. Huaiziak a Laisiangthou in, Heh unla, khelh zaw khial kei un; na hehna uh ni in tumpih kei hen. Diabol leng mun awnsam kei un ana chi hi. Heh ngei kei ni chih khang, thil hoihlou mu a hehtheilou, dikloutak a thil kisemkhia a hehtheilou nahihleh miphaklouhna hizaw maithei ahi. Hehchiang a khut leh khe kuan a kivuak hiam ahihkeileh mahni siatna ding thil hoihlou va khoih pen Pathian in deih hetlou hi.
II. Nupa kal buaina sukveng ding dan:
Christian Marriage Counsellor James Fairfield in hehna kideal dan tangpi point 5 ana gente ensuk ni.
- Zoh teitei ding (Win at all cost): Nupa kal a kisel khakna bang om chiang a mahni diklouhna hizenpi kisiamtan teitei in zoh teitei ding lungput a nei. Pasal khenkhat bang in tuh numei maimai kizousak vial lou e chi’n pang teitei uhi. Mahni kia kideihkhopna leh dik kisakna ngen hita. Nupa bangle pangpalek bang a tungnung kituh theih laiteng nupa kal chidamlou chihna suak hi. Na nupa kal ua na kinakna uah vualzou mahlechin na kal uh bawlhoih ahih tuan keileh kipahluatna ding omlou hi. Hiai dan ahihleh pasal in zang tangpi
- Kizukkik (Withdrawing): Kinakna leh kiselna om chiang a kizukik pah pah. Diksalou kawmkawm a kizukkik, thudik gen ngamlou. Kizukkik ziak achu kinakna hong bei thei tham himahleh a mau nupa kal chidam tuanlou hi. Adiak a numeite’n hiai dan zang tangpi
- Kithukim (Compromise): Hichi suk heh chi in kithukimna khat bawl uhi. Kongkhat achu hoih mahmah chih di hi aziak ahihleh a nih ua kithukim theihna ahi a, anih ua lungkim tuak uhi. Ahi a abuaina pen uh hoihtak a abul apat bawldik kha tuanlou chihna suak hi. Huaiziak a hong selkhe thei zel
- Kipekhia, a thuak a pang (Yielding): A lungngai thei deuh zaw pen i chi hia ahihkeileh kiselna zoulou ding a kikoih zaw pen in hiai dan zang sek uhi. Denchiang a saupi hon peh a buaina hong pian ma in chi in a zi/pasal vualzousak hi. Hiai dan zang te’n tuh a ngaihdan pen dik mahleh a kilemna ding uh ahihnak leh a ngaihdan hi in a dikna hileh gense lou in chillum toh valh suk uhi. Ahi a kilem mahle uh a kal uh kigamla thei a, a lungsim bang a kihawthei
- A ziak zongkhia a buaina suveng (Resolve the conflict): Buaina leh kinakna ziak hoihtak a zonkhiat teitei sawm masa. A ziak asan atheih chiang a asukveng dingdan ngaihtuah. Kibawlthakna ding a omleh leng kibawlthakngam ding. Hiai dan ahihleh a tung ate sang in hoih zaw hi. Khenkhat kinakna leh kibuaina khawng aziak hoihtak honsui chiang ua gintak sanga ana hou zaw, a khonung khawng a ngaihtuah chiang bang hou sakasa chih bangle ana omthei
III. Nupa kal a kinakna leh buaina beina ding in Nupa Kingaihdamna mah poimoh pen hi:
Kuapeuh in kua tung ah leng thubuai nei hile uchin, kithuakzou chiat in, kingaidam tuah unla, Toupa’n a hon ngaihdam tak bang in kingaidam tuah chiat un. Huan huai tengteng tung ah itna silhthuah un; huai in thil bangkim kituaktakin a gakkhawm hi (Kol.3:13, 14).
Nupa bangle kibang hetlou ana hi. Khosakna, leh khankhiatna innsung bangle kibanglou banah mikhial nih kiteng a hihna ah a changin kinakna leh kihehsanna om thei mah hi. Huai chiang a na theih ding tuh Pathian hehpihna ziak a angaihdamna tang nahih ngalleh na tung a khialte, bangchi bang khelhna hitaleh na ngaihdam theih ding Toupa thupiak ahi. Na zi/pasal na ngaihdam theih keileh Pathian ngaihdamna na tan bukimlou tangkha hikha ding nahi, Pathian ngaihdamna in hon damsak zoulou leh angaihdamna in gen neilou suak ding hi.
Kingaihdam khitnung bang a gengen, pholhkhiat ding neinei lai ichih bangle ngaihdamna bukimlou hinuam mahmah hi. Kingaihdam khitnung a pholhkhiat ding na neih lai sungteng ngaidam taktaklou chihna suak hi. Selwyn in, “Christian forgiveness is wiping the slate clean” ana chi hi.
Huan huai tengteng tung ah itna silhthuah un…. Itna bangle silhthuah ana ngai hial hi. Aziak na itna masa pen lui gawp, keu gawp, kek gawp, nungak-tangval kal a itna (Romantic love) pen Pathian itna (Agape love) a silhthuah poimoh mahmah hi. Hiai bang itna ahihleh a dohzou a, a migi a, a haza kei a, a kisathei kei a, a ki-uangsak kei a, a huham sam kei a, amah thulou thu a sa kei a, amah angsung kia a khual sam kei a, a hehbaih kei a, hehsa in a omden sam kei a, gilou a kipahpih kei a, a dik a kipahpih zaw a, bangkim a thuak teitei a, bangkim a gingta a, bangkim a lamen a, bangkim a thuak khezel hi. Kisihsan nung khawnga kingaidam theilou ding zen a kisik ngoihngoih a om sang a damlai a ki-it ding, kipahtawi tuah ding chih atheih-atheihthoh kia hilou in zui chiatta ni. Nupa ki-ittak a khosa khawm, tonkhawmte kan a nuamsa om ding hiam? chi ut kahi.
Gelh ding tampi omlai mahleh ka lungsim a omteng bangle gelhkhe siamlou kahihna ah hiai teng in k’on hunsak phot ding. Simtute’ tengteng Toupa’n hon vualzawl hen.
Pastor M.Thangkhenmung 17th June 2021